You're Banned!

Banned for coating your teeth with human skin

Banned for not packing the human skin with salt so it lasts longer.

Banned because they were not for me.

Banned for being a vampire.

Banned so we can televise.

Banned for sticking a crab into a piece of cake

Banned for choosing crabs over lobsters.

Banned for putting entire cherries onto a liter of soda

Banned for not knowing that I am currently drinking mango-flavored tea.

Banned for being a bat pony.

Banned because (/^o^)/EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Banned for rabies and SARS.

Banned for putting razors into the candy

Banned for being inactive for two years.

Banned for carving out phallic imagery from a pumpkin

Banned for carving out pumpkin imagery on a phallus.

banned for talking about ponies

Banned because im just bored lul

Banned for banning banned banned bannery.

Banned for infinite levels of bandom

Banned for downloading files like cracked videogames (eg. Burnout™ Paradise Remastered) and torture images+videos (eg. the “Церковные Пляски” torrent) being captured by a software used to see what file transfers are occurring on another operating system not in use by you.

Banned for TL;DR

Banned for using abbreviations instead of writing it out.

Banned because that’s not how it works round here, kiddo.

Also, that’s part of the point behind TL;DR. If it’s not abbreviated, it’s too long :P

Banned for condescension.