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+-SH dead source46831 +-SH safe2184219 +-SH artist:hioshiru1062 +-SH quibble pants1706 +-SH rainbow dash281363 +-SH earth pony508447 +-SH pegasus500794 +-SH pony1612981 +-SH comic:tale road46 +-SH g42041011 +-SH blurry background2431 +-SH blushing276243 +-SH cheek fluff9648 +-SH chest fluff66300 +-SH comic135987 +-SH cute267233 +-SH duo173177 +-SH ear fluff51373 +-SH eye contact7699 +-SH eyelashes26981 +-SH female1813716 +-SH fluffy19734 +-SH looking at each other34704 +-SH male554247 +-SH mare748231 +-SH open mouth239593 +-SH raised hoof70552 +-SH ship:quibbledash312 +-SH shipping255636 +-SH smiling400831 +-SH spread wings95688 +-SH stallion197364 +-SH straight180255 +-SH train3458 +-SH wings225516
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Yes, I know. I updated them.
The description got updated after I posted my comment.
check the descriptions
Sorren?
Good choice.
~STL
I know,right?
Haha I know :D
Thanks Sorren for helping us <3
Actually, you see three pages already. Other will be posted on a monthly basis.
I was kinda worrying less about character and more about just editing what was there so that it flowed better. That’s why I kept his line for that, as it still did the job well. And I don’t feel RD would say “smart guy,” so I just changed wonderful to awesome ‘cause we all know that’s her favorite word, but I may be reading her character wrong. Hioshiru did good with keeping character in line, it’s just the small changes and flow I’m mainly worried about.
I know i really doesn’t matter what they say cause they’re gonna fuck anyways, but if language is the weakest part of the comic, it’s arguably the easiest part of a piece of work to fix and it improves the quality by THAT much. The artwork is amazing, and thus it deserves worthy dialogue to match it.
Edited
Maybe, continuing from the last page…
“HEY, RAINBOW!”
“Quibble! Is that you!?”
“Who else would I be?”
“Smart guy! I can’t believe you’re here!”
To me, the dialogue is pointing towards Quibble saying something playfully arrogant. “It’s you!” “I should say so!” plays better with Quibble answering her colloquial exclamation/question with a rhetorical question. Feels more in-character.
But to be honest since they’re just going to fuck I don’t think it matters how they say what they say. And you know what? The comic kinda doesn’t even need dialogue from what I can tell so far. The artwork is so strong, you can feel what they’re saying VERY CLEARLY even though the dialogue doesn’t flow as well as it could.
Edited
TOP CUNT. lol.
The last one is actually pretty fine except that you can’t really translate it literally and expect it to make sense (but isn’t it cute it even deinflected and transliterated the name of the street Malaya Spasskaya?). See https://dic.academic.ru/dic.nsf/ruwiki/312264 (I just learned something new too.)
Hmmm….
Close enough.
Катись колбаской по Малой Спасской. Твои брызги негодования интересны только тебе.
English isn’t your first language, right? It might be helpful if you had a proofreader look at your dialogue before you post it. It’s nothing major but it would be helpful… I don’t know who could do that for you… coughcoughIwanttodoitcoughcough
For example, this might flow a little bit better:
“I should say so!”/“I should say the same thing!”
“What an awesome surprise!”
“Long time no see…I’m really happy to see you (again).”
just block the entire “explicit” tag or use a complex filter with quibbledash, explicit
It’s okay 😆.
Some people just don’t like clop. You can’t blame them for that.