OC Critique Thread

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Background Pony #3A5A
Post your OCs, lets critique them constructively. don’t critique the ART ITSELF, but the OC overall including concept, character design, narrative or back story, and etc.etc. The more information you post the more you get back. lets all help each other out to make our OCs better.
QueenCold
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The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

Jade the dragoness
 
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When Jade gets lost, she wanders around aimlessly through the Hayseed Swamps and then the Everfree Forest until she stumbles upon Fluttershy’s cottage. As soon as the pegasus sees her she swoops the baby dragon up in her hooves and takes her inside. Jade is startled at first, but slowly starts to relax and gives Fluttershy the benefit of the doubt. The news of the new baby dragon travels fast and soon the ponies find themselves occupied with welcoming party preparations and finding the dragon a proper home. However, nopony cares to ask if she wants to stay in the first place. It soon becomes apparent that she doesn’t.  
The ponies try to find out where she came from, but to no avail. Jade is forced to relent and she lives at Fluttershy’s for the time being. Meanwhile the ponies introduce her to all kinds of new activities and Jade warms up to the pony way of life.
 
Like Spike Jade is occasionally sarcastic and sometimes laughs at others’ misfortunes. She is a very good friend however and genuinely cares about her friends’ feelings. Jade doesn’t know much about ponies and is often oblivious to their customs. She is also reluctant to admit she likes certain things, such as dresses and spa visits, because she fears becoming too pony-ish.  
Over time Jade develops a crush on Spike. She is well aware of his infatuation with Rarity and is a good sport about it, fearing that coming on too strongly might damage her friendship with him.  
There is one thing about Spike that annoys Jade to no end, which is his dismissive attitude towards his dragon roots. They even fight about this when they are on a quest to find Jade’s parents.
GargantuanBass
Thread Starter - Vent thread
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

Techno Fiend
 
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Name: Techno Fiend
 
Age:18 (as far as human years go, I don’t know how ponies age.)
 
Gender:Male (Somewhat androgynous, due to his long mane.)
 
Race:Unicorn
 
Talent:Creating and mixing Electronic Dance/Rave music.
 
Cutie Mark: A black and purple vinyl record, with three, purple musical notes surrounding it
 
Apperance:  
–Pale yellow coat  
–Bright, bushy, lavender mane, long enough to be considered “girlish”  
–Bright, pink eyes
 
Positive Personality Traits:  
–Is very friendly and approachable, even in the face of grade-a douchebags.  
–Prone to random acts of kindness, as he likes making others happy.  
–Can handle criticism well.  
–Has a great sense of humor.  
–Has a sharp wit and can be quick with the snarky quips.  
–Usually knows just the right thing to say if somepony needs cheering up.
 
Negative Personality Traits:  
–Is very lazy at times.  
–Is somewhat cynical and doesn’t trust people unless they’re close to him.  
–Is VERY protective of his belongings.  
–Can be unknowingly greedy at times. (Not like, “he would steal what he wants” greedy, but “generally wants things” greedy.)  
–Often takes things too literally.  
–Is a bit of a coward (though he can muster up bravery in dire situations).
 
Abilities/Strengths:  
–Basic unicorn spells. Levitation, basic first-aid.  
–Wide variety of both offensive and defensive, sound-based spells (one of his favorites being an attack spell that plays a massive bass drop, blowing back anypony within range)  
–Above average shield spells.  
–Nimble/swift.
 
Weaknesses:  
–While he is very talented with music and sound-based spells, any other spell he attempts usually backfires.  
–His shield spells, while powerful, require a lot of magic to use, and drain him quickly.  
–Is not very physically strong.
 
Misc. Information:  
–Techno actually likes, what ponies call, “Griffon Food” (aka, meat), and he gets a LOT of odd looks for this.
 
History:
 
Techno Fiend grew up in one of the inner areas of Manehattan. It wasn’t necessarily a ghetto, and he wasn’t too bad off, but it wasn’t really the lap of luxury. His home life, while comfortable, was somewhat plagued by his parents’ constant, heated arguments with each other. Things never got physical, but it still made him feel awful inside. Schoolwise, he mostly kept to himself, and didn’t really have anyone he could consider a “friend”.
 
One afternoon, during a particularly hateful argument between his parents, he decided to just get out for the day. Upon exploring the city, he came upon a stallion in his early twenties known as “Gargantuan Bass”. The two chit-chatted for a while, and before either of them knew it, Techno Fiend had poured his heart out to the stallion, revealing how desparately lonely he was, despite the fact he usually shunned people away out of fear they would ask about his homelife.
 
Taking pitty on the young colt, Gargantuan Bass invited him over to his apartment, where he would learn about this wonderful new music Bass simply dubbed, “Rave”.
 
It wasn’t long before they were the best of friends. Techno would visit almost daily, and the pair would talk and listen to music all day. But, after only about two years, the day came when Techno learned his parents would be splitting, and since his mother had custody, he would be moving away from Manehattan. That day, he ran to Bass’ apartment, in tears, worried he’d never see his friend again. Bass simply told him to keep going, and gave him a record he had been saving for a special occasion. It was the most beautiful trance song he had ever heard, and only later did he realize that it was a song Bass had been helping him make, as over the years, Bass had been teaching him the in and outs of how to make electronic music.
 
The very first night after moving Techno finished his first song. As he gave it a listen to, his mind was flooded with happy memories of the time he’d spent with Bass. He then saw a flash, and looked down to see that his cutie mark had appeared, signifying his destiny to become a great rave musician.
 
Fast-foward. Techno is now 18, fresh out of high-school, and ready to make it on his own in the world. Over the past three years, he has been chatting online with another electronic musician known as “Vinyl Scratch”, or her stage name, “DJ P0N-3”. Over the years, the two grew close as friends, and he eventually shared his dreams of owning his own club. Wanting to see that happen, Vinyl has invited him to stay with her until he can afford a place to live, and then the pair will begin performing to raise money to build his club…
 
I know “DJ Ponies” are an overused thing in the fandom. Sorry. :C
AaronMk
Lunar Supporter - Helped forge New Lunar Republic's freedom in the face of the Solar Empire's oppressive tyrannical regime (April Fools 2023).
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Crystal Roseluck - Had their OC in the 2023 Derpibooru Collab.
Tree of Harmony - Drew someone's OC for the 2022 Community Collab
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Sky funeral
Well it’s one of the few dragon OCs that have shown up in the fandom. And though we don’t neccesarilly have to commend on the art work I got to say that the design isn’t half-bad.
 
Per the background, it’s not much different from the characters that manifest in characters from the Teen Life RPs that are commons in my current RP’ing haunts. Most of the time these characters pick up rather parent-less backstories to try and make a grab for feels. Or, is the most common way to have people feel sorry for the character.
 
 
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(Shitty everything, I know. But I decided not to care.)
 
A parody of the central character of the Dark Seed games - Mike Dawson - Pony Dawson is a would-be writer. Though, at the same time not right in the head.
 
Due to his mental-state of mind he inevitably was forced to live with his mother as he copes with his hallucinations, and possible MPD. He often times lapses into what he calls the “Dark World” and claims someone murdered his girl-friend Rita.
 
No one is amused, not even his mother is particularly happy.
QueenCold
Non-Fungible Trixie -
The Power of Love - Given to a publicly verified artist with an image under their artist’s tag that has reached 1000 upvotes
Wallet After Summer Sale -
Notoriously Divine Tagger - Consistently uploads images above and beyond the minimum tag requirements. And/or additionally, bringing over the original description from the source if the image has one. Does NOT apply to the uploader adding several to a dozen tags after originally uploading with minimum to bare tagging.
A Really Hyper Artist - 500+ images under their artist tag
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Artist -
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

@AaronMk
 
Jade’s parents aren’t dead or anything. They are loving parents that took care of her until she got lost, which was her own fault. Maybe I should have mentioned that.
MegaHerts
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@GargantuanBass
 
My only critique for the character’s appearance…. dang. Take it easy on the gradients o_O A solidly color coat and solidly-colored hair is fine enough. I think a better alternative is to give a few pieces of clothing instead of blending clashing colors into one shape.
TLATopHat
An Artist Who Rocks - 100+ images under their artist tag
Artist -

@GargantuanBass
 
Color: Nice use of color theory. Good implementation of a simple triad color scheme. Not painful to the eyes, though the shade of the mane is a little loud. Eye color fits well within the triad scheme.
 
Silhouette: A little noisy, but it’s crisp and easily identifiable. Nothing ridiculous or out-of-place, and everything is well within a feasible variance from canon styles.
 
Color: 9/10 Silhouette: 9/10 Overall: 9/10
 
Artistically speaking, and in my opinion, great job on the design!
ArchimedesOgle
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

@GargantuanBass  
The colors and everything are fine  
A DJ is about as common as people with gears for cutie marks, but I’ll let it slide since you actually seem to care a lot about the character, put effort into it, and make it seem pretty nice.  
My real gripe with it is the fact that the whole “eating meat” thing is a real cop-out to sound like “hes special and original” instead of focusing on the actually very good story you wrote for him.  
And it’s not bothering me too much but some people might find the last part of it to sound a bit like you’re trying to self fulfill a fantasy about being Vinyl Scratch’s bestest buddy  
I know i’m being harsh on a friend but that’s how I feel  
ANyway
 
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This is Archimedes Ogle  
Strengths: Being adorable, good at getting “the whole picture”, logic, thinking outside the box  
Weakness: Cowardice, diaper fetish, holds grudges and seeks acceptance from everyone
 
This dude THIS DUDE oh my god don’t get me started  
So like, his parents had a lot of kids and couldn’t really hold onto them all, and put out an ad like “who wants this kid” i mean because look at how adorable this kid is  
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so the gentle coltte of leisure adopted him, raised him, and he grew up to be a detective the end
 
(this is not a serious back story outside being adopted by GCoL, I just use this lil’ guy for a ponysona of sorts but he’s cute)
GargantuanBass
Thread Starter - Vent thread
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

@ArchimedesOgle
 
That feel when you also have a pony with a gear-mark. :I
 
Yeah, I kinda tacked on the meat-eating thing due to the fact I’ve developed him through an RP where (I’m not proud of this) he’s entered a relationship with Gilda. I thought about revising it so he eats it due to such a huge interest in griffon culture, but I’m still mulling it over.
 
Regardless, he really does need an overhaul. I’ll be sure to work on him. Thanks for the advice. :)
 
Also, I had no clue that was your OC.
animemetalhead
The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012

Screw it, I’ll toss mine up here. Disclaimer, though: She’s been through a few fandoms, so her backstory’s a little… convoluted.
 

 
Name: Kiora  
Age: 22  
Story: Born a human, a ninja, in the village of Konohagakure. Fought a vampire sorceress with a tendency to hop through the multiverse. Ultimately befriends said vampire. Pisses off said vampire after a few too many drinks, and gets turned into a pony and sent to Ponyville.
 
Her cutie mark is a kunai and shuriken, obviously representing her talent at, well, killing things. Unfortunately, her passion is music, and she rather dislikes this world for throwing her abilities in her face. She doesn’t believe her destiny in life is to just be a fighter.
 
So she’s on a quest to see if she can change her destiny, and, by extension, her cutie mark.
 
Strengths:  
  • Will always fight for what she feels is right, even when she’s in over her head.  
  • Very agile flyer (Not necessarily fast, just very maneuverable.)
     
    Weaknesses:  
  • Quick to jump to conclusions, and quick to resort to violence.  
  • Slow to admit fault
     
    There’s probably more I could stick here, but that’s the gist.
Sidorovich
Duck - Siduckovich
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The End wasn't The End - Found a new home after the great exodus of 2012
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He was a slave at a zebra owned watermelon plantation as a filly and eventually led a revolution against the zebra alicorns. He stole king zebra’s horn and became an alicorn himself, which gave him god-like powers. He is also good with business, which is probably due to having a Jewish mother. His business skills led him to become the owner of Equestria’s watermelon farm and malt liquor brewery.
 
Also he’s married to nightmare moon.
Randomosaur
Duck - Like the movies Birds, but with just ducks. Ducks everywhere.
Thread Starter - Person Above You

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Name: Night Fossil.  
Age: 14.  
Story: Born in Trottingham, Night Fossil is a teenaged unicorn currently residing in Ponyville. He is interested in Equestrian prehistoric life, especially dinosaurs. His cutie mark is a Tyrannosaurus skull, which was earned by finding a fossil tyrannosaur tooth in the Appleoosan badlands.  
Appearances Twilight’s Pet (explicit, non-canon).  
Strengths: Knowledgeable, funny.  
Weaknesses: Paranoid, socially awkward, sometimes stupid.
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